My Name is Blurry Face, and I Care What You Think

Foggy Brain, Forgetfulness and other Fun Facts.

Adulting is hard. Seriously though, being an adult can be quite tough for some people or for most people some of the time. Sometimes we ARE given more than we can bear. Sometimes it’s NOT fair. Sometimes I’d give anything to pack up my crayons, my teddy bear and colouring book and retreat to a blanket fort in my mom’s living room. After I reverse time about 40 years, first. Oh gosh, what I wouldn’t give to be without responsibility; for someone else to take the reins.

Sure, I’m a subscriber to ‘That’s Life’, and I received the ‘suck it up and deal’ issue. But what if sometimes you just need to withdraw and lick your wounds? A battery recharge; a re-evaluation, if you will. Describe it how you like, it does happen. I’ve noticed it seems to happen to me fairly often of late. I’ve been evaluating the new and re-evaluating the old and I’ve discovered some truths that have been hard to admit and even harder to accept. I’m not the me I was ten years ago, hell, I’m not even the me I was a mere five years ago.  Now before you get all “Well honey, who IS..?”  at me, give me a moment to get to my point.

I think I can sum it up in three words: I have declined.
My physical abilities have declined; I am no longer able to take an exercise class or perform physically demanding activities, medical issues and general whole-body pain prevent that.
I didn’t have that ten years ago.
My mental abilities have also declined. Boy have they. I don’t find I’m as sharp as I once was. I prided myself in my memory; in being able to remember odd facts, numbers and why I got up and walked into the kitchen. Those days are becoming more rare. I know it’s a side-effect of some medications for the issues alluded to above. That doesn’t make it any easier to accept.

My health too, has declined. I guess it’s called ‘middle-age’ for a reason. I’ve reached the middle-point in my time on the planet, rather like cresting a hill and now all that’s left is to go down the other side.
It’s greatly upsetting to see in what way this decline affects my progression forward. Onward and upward have been eliminated and now it’s more like forward with an ever-increasing decrease.

However, to be a bit more ‘glass-half-full’, I’m the one who gets to decide the rate of descent. Or at least have large amounts of input and family support during the adjustment process.

I’m sure there will still be moments when I’ll feel I really need the blanket fort. Of that I have no doubt.

Well, I’m off. But not running, ‘cause stuff jiggles.

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